When someone you love takes you for granted, it can almost always be traced back to a lack of boundaries.

I once thought if I gave everything away, it made me loving and selfless. 

But it only made me someone who didn’t respect them self. 

People often don’t mean to take advantage, but it happens when we let them.

When we don’t say “I don’t want to” or “that doesn’t feel right to me…” “that makes me uncomfortable…” “it seems like I’m getting the raw end of the deal…” or a flat out “NO”.

The truth is, you have to look after yourself. 

That means preserving all your tender and sensitive parts that need care and attention.

No one else will do that for you. 

No one can know what you need unless you say it. 

But first you must say it to yourself. 

This is the first step to respecting yourself. Even if it starts as a whisper. 

I’ve learned the hard way. 

I’ve abandoned friendships and severed ties because my line was crossed. 

It was no one’s fault but my own.

I waded too long in the chasm of ignorance and denial.

And by the time I drew a line, it was too late.

They didn’t know me anymore. 

They wanted the version where I sacrificed everything including myself. It was more convenient.

And that’s when I realised that the love wouldn’t last. That it wasn’t love at all, but a silent barter: I’ll become obligated, if you boost my self-esteem and need for acceptance. 

I should have known that the affection came with a price.

That they never cared about me, but rather how to leverage what I offered.

It’s funny how I couldn’t see until I was willing to See.

Sometimes hard lessons are the only way to pry eyes open.

And I am grateful. I don’t have an ounce of bitterness.

It did hurt to say goodbye, but say goodbye I did.

And I am stronger for it. I’ve made space in my heart. I’ve taken back my power. 

Thank you for the reminder that I should never have given it up. It’s back where it belongs.